Assignment 5 Narrative Writing

Peer review
Peer review
Peer review
Graded copy

Chapter One: A Journey Ends and Another Begins

Samarra boldly strode pass the splintery palisade gates of Gind’Har, last and largest bastion before the true wilds of the frontier. The mission had been a relative success, the journey was at its end.

 Gind, to all but the most pedantic, it was truly a place made by and for those monster hunting mercenaries called adventures. It boasted a huge Adventurer’s Guild and the only Adventurer’s training ground for over a hundred miles. Samarra had helped build Gind, and now she was returning to the home, and the family she had made for herself. Samarra inhaled deeply and let her half-elven ears, and decidedly human nose, take in the sights and smells of her Gind.  Her city was busy preparing for tomorrow’s festival. Even now at dusk, workers and farmers built stalls and spice filled the air as meat and treats were prepared for the upcoming festivities.

Darrel, her party’s young and brash human scout walked slightly behind her. Samarra knew he would say it was so he could “watch her back” but she was confident his eyes watched a little bit lower than her back.

Behind Darrel came the “eccentric” beardless dwarven battle mage, Iko Firewhiskey. Sneak-thief and general ne’er-do-well half-orc, Toby Two-Shoes, and the matronly priestess Tallisa Greywater followed just slightly behind the drunken spellcaster. All of them, had together defeated the mad mage Torvald and put his army of elemental slaves to rest. 

Now it was their time to rest. Their time to celebrate. Samarra had not missed a harvest festival in almost twenty years and she and her party had ridden hard to make it in time for this one. She marched confidently into the largest inn Gind had to offer, The Glass Rose. Samarra strode inside the inn confidently expecting boisterous laughter, free flowing alcohol, and song. She sensed dark mutterings and gloom.

“There should be song….” She thought to herself. This is wrong there should be festival songs. Her friend and surrogate mother,  the ex-barbarian adventurer Hilga Highhaart should be cooking and cussin’ up a storm. Sweet Timmy should be a little tipsy and singing happily off-key. The red haired ranger and her friends briskly found a table in the strangely quiet dining hall. Samarra had a bad feeling.

 Samarra quickly cast her green flecked brown eyes around the room, her ears too pointed and long to be human, too round to be fully elven, took in the low mutterings and that passed for conversation. Her half-elven eyes saw furtive glances from across the room, all directed toward that sinister looking mercenary band sitting in a southern booth facing the inn’s entrance.

Samarra could see why those “people” drew the inn patrons eyes. The dark group in the corner was revolting and sent small chill up her spine. On one end of the booth sat a small slip of a girl. Her age rendered completely indeterminable under layer after layer of grime and filth. But the most eye catching and obvious feature, apart from the disgustingly mangy dreadlocks, was the foot long yellow-white grub that seemed to have replaced her tongue. It was devouring a whole chicken with remarkable, sickening speed.

 Next to that, the hulking skull covered set of armour, and the woman wrapped head-to-toe in rune covered bandages seemed normal. The last of this misfit group of miscreants was a blank masked man in leather armor with bone studs. Something about that last man sent a shiver up and down Samarra’s spine. But this shiver was different, for some reason Samarra was excited. “What was this? Who is that man?”

Just as Samarra was about to say something to the companions taking seats around her, Timm’ikk the bubbly padfoot waitress appeared. With a round of unordered ale in her arms and an uncharacteristic frown on her dog like face, the beast girl sighed with relief. “Thank the gods! I get so nervous when the Red Hook people are here.”  Timmy, as the typically smiley waitress insisted on being called, jerked her head in the direction of the sinister characters in the southern booth at the mention of the name “Red Hook”.

“Who are those Blackguards?” Slurred Iko, blackguard becoming “Blagourds” as he  a rudely pointed to the booth in the south. 

“Killers, and creeps. They appeared a few weeks ago bringing sack after sack full of ogre and troll heads. But I don’t think that’s why they are here in Gind” said the waitress.

As Iko, Samarra, and their friends processed that information, the “Blagourds” began to move. One by one they made their way towards the exit. The whole inn sighed a breath of relief. The festivities could continue. Then tragedy struck. The villainous looking group took a strangely circuitous path towards the inn’s exit passing right by Samarra’s table.

Then it happened. The armored skull covered hulk slightly bumped Iko’s chair.  An entire inn collectively held its breath.

“Watch where y’er goin’ Tin Man.” The feisty and fearless, four-foot-two battle mage somehow seemed to look down on the nine foot tower of metal as he growled and fingered the weathered Ironroot wand on his hip.

The deep mechanical rumble that escaped the metal monstrosity could be felt in the chest of every patron within twenty feet. As customers tensed, and prepared to escape the inevitable brawl, a miracle happened.

The blank faced rogue offered an apology and proffered an incredulous stack of ten gold pieces to Samarra and her friends.

Iko, who was already singing a spell in his mind, was too flabbergasted to speak. Samarra took the initiative from the drink addled dwarf and thanked the mysterious figure offering so much gold for such a small mistake.

“My thanks good sir…” She began to say when the blank faced man’s hand shot out like a viper. Grabbing her arm and pulling her in close. He whispered in her ear a phrase that would turn her life upside down.

He said it in a voice so quiet she wondered if she was imagining things. “It’s so good to see you again, Pig-Tails.”

That was all it took to break Samarra.

Fear, pure overwhelming happiness, confusion, and a thousand other emotions pummeled Samarra at once. She started to tear up. Embarrassed at crying, happy Kas was alive, sad and a thousand other things at once, Samarra’s own hand snaked out. Grabbing the strange man’s arm. NO. Grabbing his arm, she blurted out “That’s impossible!”.

“I know” Came the sullen reply. That was all the proof she needed. It was Him. Kas. The man Samarra knew as Kas pulled away just as her fingers tightened around his leather clad arm. Following his departing companions, he gave one last look at Samarra before walking out.

“THE FUCK WAS THAT? Are you OK?” said Darrel. As far as Darrell was concerned anyone who laid a hand on Samarra was asking for a beat down. Samarra turned, wiped the tears from her eyes and announced that she was going to bed and was not to be disturbed. She grabbed the wine pitcher helpfully placed there by Timmy, and headed toward her room on the inn’s second floor. Focused entirely on quelling the conflicting emotions bubbling insider her. She left only confusion and worry in her wake.

“What the FUCK was that?” Came again from Darrell. It was joined by “Is Sammy ok?” and “Who were those creeps?”

Just as those words of bewilderment left the companions mouths, an answer came bursting through the kitchen doors in a wave of heat and fury that had very little to do with the intense heat of the busy kitchen. 

Retired adventurer, part-time cook, and full-time raging barbarian, Hilga Highhaart charged the hapless adventurers with a meat cleaver in one hand, a wooden spoon in the other, and rage in both eyes. “What did you do?” The elderly woman cast her gaze specifically at Darrell. The ex-adventurer knew how he looked at her darling Sam.

“It wasn’t him! It was those Red Hook scum.” Came the high pitched voice of Timmy the beast-girl server. Hilga calmed down and decided not to rain down wooden blows upon Darrell’s knuckles. At Least not yet. “Tell me what happened” Hilga commanded, the adventurers reacting instinctively to her orders.

“And then he whispered something into her ear and left.” Priestess Greywater had finished catching Hilga up to speed when Darrell spoke up. “What he whispered didn’t even make any sense.” 

“Hey they may not be elven, but these ears are better than most!” Came the scouts defensive response to the number of raised eyebrows his friends gave him.

“It’s so good to see you again, Pig-Tails. What is that code or something?” Darrell turned to face the ever reddening Hilga. The berserker woman just kept muttering under her breath. “Pig-Tails? PIG-TAILS?!!!!”  

“Wha” the question was cut short by a cleaver chopped deep into the wine stained pinewood table. “that…That is not possible”

“That’s what Sammy said. Is that like a code word or something” Darrel queried, blissfully unaware of how close to cleaver related death he was at that moment.

“It is what HE called her.”

“Who?”

“The man who raped and tortured Samarra. The man who we hunted for years. The man who I personally saw dragged into hell. I don’t know how he is back and I don’t care why. I take more pleasure in his second death” A sudden jolt shook the brawny woman. “That bastard can teleport! Get to Samarra now!”

All hell broke loose in the Glass Rose dining hall. Samarra was beloved in Gind, and the Red Hook were despised. Frontier justice was at hand.

As bedlam broke out on the first floor. A quiet and almost romantic event played out on the second. As a million questions swam in her mind, Kas suddenly gotten down on one knee. Samarra’s left hand grasped in both of his. “Samarra Riversong, will you do me the honor of” Samarra held her breath in excitement. “Being my kidnapping victim?”

“Oh You brute!” she exhaled and seemed to deflate. “What scheme is this now? And why must you pretend to be a monster to do it?

“All will be revealed Pig-Tails. Getting out of Hell ain’t cheap dont ya know?. The board is nearly set, the pieces in place. The Gods’ Great Game is about to start. It’s a chase, a treasure hunt, and the adventure of a lifetime.” Samarra groaned, but couldn’t hide her excitement.

“Are you in? Quickly now I think that scream was Hilga.” Kas had kept his mask on this whole time, yet Samarra could see his lopsided grin perfectly clearly.

She smiled back at the wooden mask. Fine she said rolling her eyes and barely containing a grin. But after that stunt you pulled getting down on one knee, I’m kicking you in the plums during my “kidnaping” she used air quotes on the word.

“I know,” he replied.

Samarra’s will cracked and she showed of surprisingly white teeth.

Samarra whispered, “This will be fun,” before giving off a blood curdling scream and a swift kick to a certain pair of plums.

One adventure had ended, but an even greater one had just begun.

The narrative writing assignment was by far my favorite. As someone who used to write short stories for fun, I realize how badly I need an editor. It was extremely difficult for me to be able to cut out lines or descriptions. Each word felt like my baby and I couldn’t abandon it. I still need to watch my grammar, punctuation and spelling. I also need to watch my tenses and perspective.

Assignment 4 Advertising Writing Assignment

Peer review
Peer review continued
Graded copy

Strategic Message Planner: The Impossible Whopper

Advertising Goal

To increase revenue and sale of the Burger King Impossible Whopper by spreading awareness of the plant based burger to customers.

Client: Key Facts

  • Founded in 1953 as Insta-Burger after financial problems it was bought out by franchisees and renamed Burger King.
  • Founded and currently headquartered in the Miami-Dade county Florida.
  • Burger King is the second largest fast food burger chain in the world.
  • Burger King serves over 11 million costumers a day.
  • Burger King’s signature hamburger is the Whopper.
  • Burger King has 17,800 franchises in over 100 countries.
  • In 2014 Burger King merged with Canadian company Tim Hortons.

Product: Key Features

What Is the Product?

  • The Impossible Whopper is a meatless burger made in a partnership with Impossible Foods, a California based company that makes plant based meat substitutes.
  •  The Impossible Whopper features a flame-grilled plant patty topped with tomatoes, lettuce, mayonnaise, pickles, ketchup, and onions on a sesame seed bun.
  • The Impossible Whopper was first released as a test run in 2019 in St. Louis, Missouri, before being rolled out nationally later that year.
  •  The Impossible Whopper has a suggested retail price of 5.59$.

What Is the Purpose of the Product?

  • As described by Chris Finazzo, president of Burger King North America the purpose of the Impossible Whopper is so  “somebody who wants to eat a burger every day, but doesn’t necessarily want to eat beef everyday, permission to come into the restaurants more frequently.”.
  • The Impossible Whopper also gives vegetarians and vegans more options and reasons to visit Burger King establishments.
  • The Impossible Whopper also gives a more environmentally friendly fast food option, reducing some of the water and energy resources used to raise livestock for meat.

What Is the Product Made of?

  • Sandwich features a savory flame-grilled patty made from plants topped with juicy tomatoes, fresh lettuce, creamy mayonnaise, ketchup, crunchy pickles, and sliced white onions on a soft sesame seed bun.
  • Calories: 630.
  • Fat: 34 grams.
  • Saturated fat: 11 grams.
  • Sodium: 1,080 grams.
  • Carbohydrates: 58 grams.
  • Fiber: 4 grams.
  • Protein: 25 grams.
  • Sugar: 12 grams.

Who and What Made the Product?

  • Impossible Foods created the plant based patty according to the company website:  Soy and potato protein give it a meaty bite. Heme a protein found in meat gives it a craveable taste. Coconut and sunflower oils make it sizzle on the griddle. Methylcellulose and food starch hold it together so you can make it into meatballs, kebab, sausage patties.
  • Burger King provides the fresh ingredients needed to turn the patty into a Whopper. Fresh cut tomatoes, onions and lettuce, a sesame seed bun, crunchy pickles, ketchup and mayonnaise.

Target Audience Demographics and Psychographics

  • Burger King has in the past targeted the male 18-34 demographic. After 2010 Burger King ad campaigns have started to appeal to a wider audience. 
  • Target audience is environmentally active customers, health conscious customers, vegetarian and vegan customers, and customers curious about plant based meat substitutes. 
  • Consumers of plant based meat substitutes skew younger with millennials consuming the most meat substitutes.
  • Older generations like Generation X are more likely to adopt meat substitutes for health reasons.
  • Almost 90% of customers who have purchased the Impossible Whopper are not vegetarian or vegan.
  • 3.4% of the American population is vegetarian, with 59% of vegetarians being female.

Product Benefits

  • The Impossible Whopper  is a meatless alternative that still allows customers to purchase a great tasting burger.
  • The Impossible Whopper is more environmentally friendly than a traditional beef burger.
  • The Impossible Whopper is a vegetarian and vegan alternative to beef burgers.
  • The Impossible Whopper is a healthier alternative to traditional beef burgers.
  • The Impossible Whopper has the appeal of novelty by becoming the second national chain to carry an Impossible burger. The first being White Castle in 2018.

Direct Competitors and Brand Images

  • White Castle: The only other burger franchise serving Impossible burgers nationally in America. Target audiences believe White Castle to be of lower quality compared to Burger King. White Castle burgers sell for 4.95$ a comparable price to Burger King.
  • McDonalds: The largest competitor in the fast food market with 17% of the market share. Target audiences are not interested in McDonalds because they do not yet have plant based meat substitute menu items and is McDonalds is seen as unhealthy. 
  • Vegan and Vegetarian restaurants: Provide alternatives to the Impossible Whopper and have a wider menu of vegan and vegetarian options. These restaurants are favored by many of the target audiences. Vegetarians and vegans are very loyal to these establishments.
  • Wendy’s: The third largest fast food burger chain. Target audiences do not have a favorable view of Wendy’s as it does not have any meat substitute menu items, and is seen as unhealthy.

Indirect Competitors and Brand Images 

  • Health food stores such as Whole Foods: Health food stores are appealing to many of our target audience, although they are considered to be very expensive.
  • Meal substitute products such as Soylent or Ensure: These meal replacements can siphon the target audience concerned with vegetarianism or health concerns. These meal replacements are not looked on very favorably by the target audience, being seen as bland or unsatisfying. 
  • Ethnic cuisine restaurants such as Indian or Chinese restaurants: These establishments often have a much wider vegetarian or vegan selection of menu items. The opinion of the target audience on these establishments is varied, although most are considered to be healthier than Burger King.

Product Brand Image  

  • Current brand image: Burger King is seen as cheap, fast, and unhealthy by the target audience.
  • Desired brand image: Burger King is a cheap, fast, healthy and environmental restaurant.
  • Related challenge: The Impossible Whopper is only actually vegetarian upon request as it is grilled with other beef patties. The rising popularity of plant based meat substitutes might soon flood the market and lessen the appeal and uniqueness of the Impossible Whopper. Sales from plant based meat substitutes have risen from $118.7 million in 2017 to $192.1 million in 2019.

 Strategic Message: The Promise 

The new Impossible Whopper will satisfy customers with the same great taste and affordability customers know and expect from Burger King, in addition to being healthier, vegetarian, and more environmentally friendly.

Supporting Evidence: The Proof

  • Due to the success of the Impossible Whopper Burger King is rolling out three additional Impossible burgers. The Impossible Whopper jr., the Impossible Burger and the Impossible Cheeseburger.
  • Interest in plant based meat substitutes is rising. Sales have increased by 72 million in two years.
  • A Barclays report suggested the global market for alternative meat could reach roughly $140 billion over the next ten years.
  • Sales figures in regions with the Impossible Whopper advertising campaign will be compared to regions with the Impossible campaign that do not have the advertising campaign.
  • Sales of the Impossible Whopper can be compared to the sale of similar burgers sold by competitors.

I really enjoyed working on this assignment. I found the research and information gathering to be particularly fun. I did much better since this assignment did not require AP style. I needed to better measure the results of the campaign and have added ways of measuring the success of the campaign. I think that the big picture nature of the strategic message planner helped me to see things more clearly than in previous writing assignments.

Assignment 3 Strategic Writing Assignment

Peer Review

To: editor@dailytoreador.com 

Subject:  Lubbock Annual Pumpkin Trail

Lubbock News Release

For Immediate Release 

Oct. 15, 2019

Lubbock 11th Annual Pumpkin Trail Lights Up the Dark 

(LUBBOCK, Texas) – Lubbock’s 11th annual Pumpkin Trail will open at 6:00 p.m in Lubbock Memorial Arboretum Thursday Oct. 17 through Oct. 20th. 

On Oct. 17th through 20th Clapp Park will host Lubbock’s 11th annual Pumpkin trail. The trail will be open from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. On Thursday and Sunday, and will be open from 6:00 p.m. to 10:00pm on Friday and Saturday. Daytime hours will be from Friday to Sunday 8:00 a.m to 5:00 p.m.  Entrances are located at Lubbock Memorial Arboretum and Lubbock Municipal Garden and Arts Center.

“It’s really just such a fun way to get involved with the community and make a fun night out for the whole family,” said Jane Bloggs a highschool senior who volunteered to help light pumpkins for the trail. “For anyone who wants a nice autumn night out, I can think of no better place than walking the Pumpkin Trail.” 

This year the Lubbock Parks and Recreation Department aims to collect over 2,000 pumpkins for this year’s Pumpkin Trail. Last year 22410 people attended the Pumpkin Trail, and the Parks and Recreation Department hopes for an even larger turnout this year. “I hope as many people have fun as possible,” said Martha Roe, deputy director of Parks and Recreation for Lubbock.

This year’s annual Pumpkin Trail is being organized by the Lubbock Parks and Recreation Department, the Lubbock Memorial Arboretum, and the Lubbock Municipal Garden and Arts Center. 

Lubbock has over 81 city parks throughout our neighborhoods. From small neighborhoods parks to regional parks, Parks and Recreation offers many outdoor settings and amenities for citizens of any age. Park amenities include but are not limited to playgrounds, picnic tables, park shelters, walking tracks, basketball courts, volleyball courts, tennis courts, dog parks, and disc golf courses.

###

For more information:

Greyson Jones

Director of Media for Lubbock Parks and Recreation Department

972-795-5343

greyson.jones@Lubbock.gov

I still made far to many AP style mistakes. I also noticed that I need to improve on making my headlines exciting and attention grabbing. I was very disappointed to realize I did not add the Parks and Rec boilerplate. I should focus more on the inverted pyramid again. Make sure that only the most important information is given at the start.

Assignment 2 Informative Writing Assignment

Graded Copy

Greyson Jones

MCOM 2320

October 4, 2019

Texas Tech University goes to Belize

(LUBBOCK, Texas) – Once again the Texas Tech University’s Field School in Maya Archaeology Study Abroad program is gearing up for an excursion into Belize, and the Mayan ruins in that country. As before this expedition begins in May.

For 12 years Professor Brett A. Houk, program director of the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, and Social Work, has led excursions to the Mayan cities of Belize for over ten years. With the last seven being held at the Chan Chin ruins with a select group of students.  The program director, Professor Brett A. Houk, has directed 16 summer field schools with 25 years of experience in Belize.

These expeditions provide students with the rare opportunity for field experience in the  Chan Chich Archaeological Project (CCAP), and will learn field and laboratory methods for archeology. Students will learn about archeology and research in the field.

Speaking with Mason Jones, a geography major from Austin and current TA who has experienced this trip to Belize, he had many things to say about the time he spent there. “I went as an instructor for a course in GIS tech for the University of Belize at the capital of Belmopan. I was teaching a class on  Openstreetmap a crowdsource mapping software useful in natural disasters, since people can update it on the spot”.

He says that one of his favorite memories of the trip, had to be the cave systems of Actun Tunichil Muknal. Housing sculptures, and ancient skeletons from the Mayan people. Jones also talked about the Mayan chocolate maker and his family that he had met.

 He talked at length about how cocoa pods taste like citrus and bananas, which he thought surprising. He learned from the chocolatier that the ancient Mayans had mixed chillies with cocoa to make a spicy hot chocolate drink.

The FSMA study abroad program only takes in a select few students each year. These students must have completed a year of course work and have above a 2.5 GPA. These students must pay certain fees as well as fill out the proper paperwork, and have passports.

This was a bit of a humbling assignment. I was tricked up by AP style several times. I think what I learned most was just how unique AP style is, and how without even realizing it I can tell if a story is a news story from just how it is formatted. I also think I need to work a bit more on the inverted pyramid and what information is important.

Assignment 1 Business Writing

Graded Feedback

Greyson Jones

13405 Coleto Creek Trails

AUSTIN, TX 78732

(972)-795-5343

greyson.jones91@gmail.com

Education

Texas Tech, Lubbock, TX – BA in Public Relations

Expected graduation date is May 2020

Experience

May 2017- September 2017

Walmart, Lubbock – Cart Attendant

  • Lead a team of 3-4 Cart Attendants and would resolve and direct cart attendant duties and breaks to ensure efficiency. 
  • Would gather and return carts from the parking lot, gather trash, and help with any customer needs.
  • Helping management with any other task needed by the company.

June 2014-November 2014

Vantage Force, Houston– Recruiter

  • Would scour through hundreds of resumes a week looking for potential employees that fit the employers’ specific needs and criteria.
  • Would conduct cold calls to potential employees and check references.
  • Would conduct interviews with prospective  employees.

Skills

  • Microsoft office.
  • Hootsuite certification.
  • Capable  with Adobe Photoshop, InDesign and Elements.
  • Cold calling and interpersonal communication.

As a former recruiter, I looked at a lot of resumes. SO I know how important it is to have a good resume. It is a good reminder that we all can use a little help in making our resumes look perfect for potential employers. I do worry at how empty the resume is and hope to be able to further pad it out.

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